Jimmy Kimmel. Hollywood's biggest names on its biggest night. What could go wrong?
The question at this year’s Academy Awards telecast isn’t, “will the evening take a political turn?”
Try, “just how far-left will the night go before the Best Picture statuette finds its owner?”
Or is it possible, as unlikely as it may seem, that the stars and host Jimmy Kimmel will stick to the script?
HiT is there from the opening joke to the final envelope. Keep refreshing this page for updates throughout the night.
11:48 pm EST — Well, that’s a wrap! Thank you for following the liveblog! Put the kettle on … and get some sleep, everyone!
11:41 pm EST — The Best Picture is … “The Shape of Water.” We will look back at that selection with a big, fat ‘meh.’
11:39 pm EST — “I wish I were a woman” – Jimmy Kimmel. Woke Factor 20,000
11:30 pm EST –– And the best Actress for 2017 is … Frances McDormand, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri” — Ms. Raising Arizona! “All the female nominees in every category stand with me…” Good visual moment. Now, let’s see some action.
11:20 pm EST — Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren … more movie stars! Why, that approach could work. And the Best Actor is … Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour.” Bravo. From Oldman: “I’ve lived in America for the longest time and I’m deeply grateful to her … the many wonderful gifts it has given me.” He even thanked his 98-plus mother. “Thank you for your love and support. Put the kettle on. I’m bringing Oscar.”
11:16 pm EST — Guillermo Del Toro, Best Director winner: “I am an immigrant … the greatest thing our industry does is erase the lines in the sand.” More vague pro-illegal immigration blather.
11:15 pm EST — “These four men and Greta Gerwig created their own masterpieces this year…” says Emma “Super Woke” Stone, turning a potentially life changing moment into yet. another. lecture.
11:05 pm EST — In Memoriam … with a Tom Petty cover by Eddie Vedder. Hundreds of people are currently scouring the Web to find out who got left off the list. Still, a nice moment handled with the requisite dash of class.
11:03 pm EST — “Remember Me” wins best song for “Coco” — the minds behind the insanely huge “Let it Go.” More woke theatrics! Who saw that coming.
10:58 pm EST — Wait, I see a movie star!! It’s Christopher Friggin’ Walken!
10:57 pm EST — Show is pushing three hours and it’s not remotely close to being over.
10:46 pm EST — Oscar winner Sandra Bullock, 53, on the stage decor: “Can we dim the lights a little bit so I can go back to my 40s …” Lot of truth there in Hollywoodland … uncomfortable laughter ensues.
10:42 pm EST — Wes Studi from “Hostiles” gives a shout out to U.S. Military veterans prior to another clip montage. Imagine the producers huddled behind the scenes — “now, we’ll get those Red State types back!
10:36 pm EST — Jordan Peele wins Best Original Screenplay for “Get Out.” A good acceptance speech without the expected lecture. Excellent horror movie for those who haven’t seen it.
10:34 pm EST — James Ivory, winning Best Adapted Screenplay for “Call Me By Your Name.” A sweet, heartfelt speech. More, please.
10:31 pm EST — “Toto I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore …” Margot Robbie is totally signaling to me. (Hope Mrs. HiT forgives me)
10:26 pm EST — Ashley Judd, Annabella Sciorra and Salma Hayek presenting, together, as victims of Harvey Weinstein. This is good/smart/appropriate. And yet the industry still discriminates against conservatives.
10:19 pm EST — Common’s woke freestayle rap — “Tell the NRA they’re in God’s way …” Amazing the first NRA slam took this long to be uncorked.
10:16 pm EST — “When you took a dookie in the streets in ‘Bridesmaids’ it changed my life.” Tiffany Haddish to Maya Rudoph. Yes, this is your Oscar ceremony.
10:13 pm EST — Is it over yet? Not even close? Uh … OK.
10:06 pm EST — A show known for being way too long is trotting out a lengthy sketch where actors meet movie goers … for the second year in a row. What are the producers thinking?
10:01 pm EST — Coming up next, the second annual ‘Stars Meet the Rubes’ sketch!
10:01 pm EST — Kimmel — “Tonight, we thank the movie-going public” — even though we just spent two full hours insulting half of that group.
9:59 pm EST — Winners complaining about their bad seats … the new Oscar cool!
9:53 pm EST — Gina Rodriguez and Tom Holland are the next presenters. Where the f&*^% are the movie stars? Sheesh.
9:45 pm EST — Daniela Vega of “A Fantastic Woman” is your next presenter.
9:43 pm EST — More politics from Team Coco after receiving the Best Animated Film Oscar. Now, a woke shout out to cap things off. “Representation matters!” Except in Hollywood movies, if you’ve seen any recent diversity studies … oops.
9:41 pm EST — “Basketball players are supposed to ‘shut up and dribble.'” – Kobe Bryant, adding a rare dash of politics to the night!
9:38 pm EST — This “Last Jedi” Oscar banter is even worse than “Last Jedi.”
9:29 pm EST — And the Best Supporting Actress winner is … Allison Janney, “I, Tonya.” No surprise… and well earned. “I did it all by myself,” she cracks, instantly funnier than anything Kimmel has said. And she was in “Private Parts.” Good speech!
9:27 pm EST — The obligatory “angry women” montage — from an industry which has been demeaning woman for 90 years.
9:26 pm EST — “A Fantastic Woman” (Chile) featuring a transgender star wins best Foreign Language Film. Shock.
9:24 pm EST — A bona fide legend is on the stage … Rita Moreno. More, please.
9:22 pm EST — This jet ski gag just gets funnier! (said not a single viewer…)
9:13 pm EST — “You know in the afterworld, there are no walls…” says a presenter whose name I cannot recall. The joke/lecture bombs with the crowd. Hmmmm
9:10 pm EST — Remember, Kumail Nanjiani unleashed such a vile, nasty Tweet he had to take it down. Now, we’re getting a Dreamer lecture before the envelope shredding … “We stand with you,” the hateful comic says.
8:55 pm EST — “The purpose of the movies are like a machine that generates empathy. It lets you understand a little bit more about different hopes, aspirations dreams and fears” — a quote from Roger Ebert during a fun clips montage. This show is the exact opposite …
8:44 pm EST — “… Urging for our differences to be washed away,” says Taraji P. Henson about a tune from “Mudbound” and the film’s message. Is she watching the same show as the rest of us?
8:42 pm EST — The team behind the Oscar-winning documentary “Icarus” — a shout out to telling the truth “now, more than ever …” Tell that to CNN! WaPo!!
8:40 pm EST — Greta Gerwig and Laura Dern lecturing us about real and fake news. From Hollywood. Really.
8:38 pm EST — Now a smug Kimmel is arguing for color blind superhero casting. How many people are turning off this dumpster fire off …
8:25 pm EST — Hey, it’s the guy from “Man from U.N.C.L.E.” giving out an award!
8:24 pm EST — Kimmel’s jet ski running gag already a dud.
8:18 pm EST — The first Oscar goes to … Sam Rockwell, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri.” That’s from his first nomination! He read his fellow nominees’ names. “You guys rock!” Great speech — what the movies are all about – passion, a funny story or two and no divisive speech. More, please.
8:12 pm EST — Now shout out to the pro-gun control Parkland teens … Kimmel is checking every progressive box. Where are the laughs?
8:11 pm EST — Now an anti-Mike Pence joke! So far the show is a parody of a hard-left Oscars telecast.
8:10 pm EST — Kimmel isn’t even considering the millions of TV viewers with his monologue. He’s talking directly to the Hollywood audience … and no one else. And there’s your first “racist” Trump joke. “Trump called ‘Get Out’ the best 3/4 of a movie this year.”
8:07 pm EST — Host Jimmy Kimmel: Woke after woke after woke .. topped by some limp jokes. Awful.
8:04 pm EST — Host Jimmy Kimmel: This is a special year … this is history happening … Oscar is 90 years old .. he’s probably at home right now watching Fox News. Petty … right off the bat.
8:02 pm EST — Host Jimmy Kimmel: “When you hear your name called, don’t get up right away … give us a minute… ”
8:00 pm EST — Among the first jokes … A shout out to Wakanda … “Imagine a country with a black leader … wouldn’t that be swell.” Ugh.