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Top 10 Reasons Letterman Is Headlining Biden Fundraiser

Late-night icon signs on for starry night, but will Biden still be on ticket by then?

David Letterman can’t quit us.

The late-night legend retired in 2015, but he won’t stay out of the spotlight. His long-running Netflix showcase, “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction,” has kept him busy since 2018.

Next up? He’ll join President Joe Biden for a fundraising event to fill the leader’s depleted coffers.

Many DNC donors have closed their checkbooks to Biden, hoping he’ll let another Democrat take on Donald Trump this fall.

Biden has hunkered down despite news reports saying he’s mulling an exit strategy. Enter Letterman, who thinks his celebrity cache can reverse Biden’s downward trend.

Why? We’re glad you asked. 

Here are the Top 10 reasons Letterman is headlining a July 29 Biden fundraiser...

Number 10: All the cool late-night hosts are shredding their credibility this way.

Number 9: You think beard trimmings are cheap?

Number 8: Biden never flashed him or kicked him in the head.

Crispin Glover Tries To Kick Dave In The Head | Letterman

Number 7: Wants expert tips on how to sniff his female employees.

Number 6: Craves new Corn Pop stories.

Number 5: He never liked that Clooney guy in the first place.

Number 4: Zero chance snipers are targeting Biden when a stiff wind might suffice.

Number 3: Wants Dr. Jill Biden to check out his achy tennis elbow.

Number 2: Hopes the President signs his, “I’m With the Big Guy” T-shirt.

And the Number 1 reason Letterman is headlining a Biden fundraiser … he needs a Hunter Biden original to hang over his fireplace.

Editor’s Note: It’s a brutal time to be an independent journalist, but it’s never been more necessary given the sorry state of the corporate press. If you’re enjoying Hollywood in Toto, I hope you’ll consider leaving a coin (or two) in our Tip Jar.

4 Comments

  1. Ill give him credit for being funny early on but by the 90s he has transformed into an unfunny bitter mean old man, which makes him the perfect person to hang out with Biden.

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