Don’t let “Barbie’s” dreamy, Day-Glo visuals fool you.
The film runs on hate, not affection.
“Barbie,” inspired by the Mattel toy dating back to 1959, loathes men to a degree that would make a Women’s Studies major blush. It hates the Barbie toy itself, dubbing it “fascist” and worse throughout the film.
“Barbie” also hates women with sweet memories of the doll. Just know you supported the “Patriarchy” all those years ago. And maybe even now.
That leaves an ambitious film, scattered with well-earned laughs, that disintegrates during a disastrous third act.
“Barbie” opens with a clever conceit. What if Barbie Land existed as another universe alongside our real, imperfect world? The toys-as-people conceit is funny at first but quickly loses steam.
Stereotypical Barbie, played with panache by Margot Robbie, suddenly finds herself victim to feelings from that other realm. She thinks about death, for starters, interrupting the dreamy existence everyone enjoys in Barbie Land.
Except the men. The various Kens, led by Ryan Gosling, are there to be either ogled or ignored. Mostly the latter.
This Uber-feminist world has no need, desire or empathy for Ken Nation. And the lads are perfectly content because they don’t know any better.
When Barbie and Ken leave their world to visit the Real one, everything changes. Ken discovers the Patriarchy, and he likes it! (The screenplay mentions the “patriarchy” 10 times… 10!) Barbie encounters rampant sexism, like AMC’s “Mad Men” on steroids.
Had “Barbie” been set in the 1950s some of this would make sense.
Mattel has enlisted not only Greta Gerwig but also A-listers ranging from Vin Diesel (Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots) to Lena Dunham (Polly Pocket). J.J. Abrams is making “Hot Wheels,” which he insists will be “emotional and grounded and gritty.” https://t.co/SuZ6VdfNqh
— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) July 11, 2023
Can Barbie learn why her perfect life is now not so ideal? Will Ken bring the Patriarchy back home? Will a movie that starts with promise curdle during the critical third act?
The answer to the latter, sadly, is “absolutely.”
That’s a shame since director/co-writer Greta Gerwig establishes inventive ways to bring the toy franchise to life. She even drops references to actual Barbie accessories during the film and uncorks a funny faux commercial about a new, “depressed” Barbie doll option.
The production design is sublime. If “Barbie” were an old home you’d say it had “good bones.”
RELATED: ‘BARBIE’ MARKETING IS CLASSIC BAIT AND SWITCH STORY
Gerwig, along with collaborator Noah Baumbach, have an agenda to push that drains the joy from their creation time after time. And it starts from the opening minutes with a cringe-worthy close-up of the all-female Supreme Court (where’s Amy Coney Barrett?).
Feminism! Empowerment! Down with the Patriarchy!
Every time the film gains momentum it pauses to make a mini-speech The characters can’t move beyond these moments because there’s always another minutes away.
It’s the perfect encapsulation of woke storytelling. The AgendaTM matters more than the narrative and mustn’t be denied.
HATE WOKE? YOU’LL LOVE THE HOLLYWOOD IN TOTO PODCAST
“Barbie” could still offer powerful points about sexism in the western world with a less heavy-handed approach. Show, don’t tell. Instead, it tells, and tells, until the story has nowhere to go. That leaves a finale brimming with poorly choreographed fight scenes, dance numbers that make no sense and conclusions that feel almost anti-human.
This movie hates men so much it hurts. Even a key character’s husband is emasculated in his fleeting screen time by both his wife and daughter.
Gosling’s Ken is alternately cruel and dopey, drowning in a sea of masculine cliches. The rest of the Kens appear, well, gay and equally devoid of any inner life.
Of course, we can’t have so much as a flicker of romance between Robbie’s Barbie and Gosling’s Ken. Ewwwww, gross! That’s not empowering … at all!
“I don’t want you here,” Robbie’s Barbie flat-out tells him at one point. Never mind that little girls bought millions of Ken dolls so their Barbie could have a romance for the ages.
That doesn’t further THIS agenda, so it’s discarded.
America Ferrera, cast as a mother pining for her Barbie-infused youth, delivers a TED talk late in the film that gives the game away. It’s a feminist screed that regurgitates everything said up until that point.
It stops the movie. Cold. “Barbie” never recovers. How could it?
RELATED: GUESS WHAT TEAM BARBIE IS HIDING?
Ferrera’s daughter isn’t exactly pleased to meet Barbie in real life, or are we reading lines like this wrong?
“You represent everything wrong with our culture. You destroyed the planet with your glorification of rampant consumerism … you fascist!”
Oh, and please buy Mattel products after seeing our new movie!
Will Ferrell looks lost as the Mattel CEO trying to track down the runaway Barbie. Is he a cold, cunning capitalist? A man sworn to uphold the Barbie legacy? A male feminist eager to make the world a better place?
Darned if Gerwig and Baumbach can tell, leaving the great comic actor lurching from scene to scene in utter confusion.
The only thing missing from “Barbie?” Those blood-red Handmaid’s Tale costumes. They’re saving those for the sequel, most likely.
HiT or Miss: “Barbie” smartly adapts the iconic toy to the big screen but does everything in its power to destroy it.
Three words:
Sound. Of. Freedom.
Two words:
Sputnik! Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.
the alt-left will pretend Barbo is good even if it sucks.
Thank you for saving me the bother of walking out of this movie. Starting with a scene with an all female Supreme Court? So as I burst out laughing in public at that – instead of assuming “oh – he hates women” – maybe consider that I was raised by feminists who preached “Equality” – they did not teach me “Domination” I mean – that scene is about as funny as a loving religious person saying “I bring you a message of Peace – which if you reject I will KILL YOU!”……..see what I did there?
What the movie probably needed was GI Joe showing up in a Nissan 300 ZX to save the day.
Soooo it’s just more Hollywood…say goodbye to some more millions as you propagandize your already braindead minority and stroke your overinflated egos…morons,
Seems the only saving grace for this movie is that Barbie was played by a real female actress and not some transgendered woman. I haven’t seen the movie and no desire to – gave up my Barbie doll some fifty years ago.
Sounds like it was written by AI — but boy did this review bring out the trolls!!! Impressive!! How you know you are over the target.
What a miserable movie and such a joke this is what film has become. Lectures and insults. Angry political statements. Hollywood deserves to wither on the vine.
Exactly Chad spot on, Hollywood has been a joke pushing woke and me-too in the absence of any real original content. The whole Marvel Mattel theme park joyride genre needs to die in a ditch like Glamrock did when Grunge turned up.
Lol this review is some hilarious boomer-level pearl-clutching.
It’s a Barbie movie.
A movie about a toy.
They made it less boring by including elements of the contemporary zietgeist… Elements that this reviewer can’t intellectually handle, I guess.
The whole review could just be “Why isn’t this movie more unintelligent and saccharine? How dare it explore IDEAS!!!??”
Your debating skills … need work.
I think he did fine. It’s harshly worded and concise to a fault, but he has a clear opinion on the film that I think he conveyed well. Let’s see YOUR debating skills– check my recent comment out and give me some counterpoints.
An opening where girls smash the heads of their dolls in with a message against motherhood is just a Barbie movie.
Gaslight harder.
Says the pearl clutching boomer.
This review just makes me want to watch the movie even way more than before! And I was already super excited for it. Thank you!
ew sexism wtf is wrong with you.
Oh well i do guess that women never really contribute to society in real life so you gotta fake it in movies i guess. carry on.
Meh, it’s a chick-flick that felt like a two hour SNL sketch.
One of these comments made me realize that most of Hollywood ‘wokeness’ is just white people cashing out on the mistakes of their ancestors.
Why didn’t the woke mob come for Hunter Biden when he used the n-word multiple times in text messages? Why, it’s almost like woke is full of, well, you know what.
Interesting review glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this. Disappointing the comments that disagree don’t have any rational points or perspectives to offer 😐 I thought the third act when the kens go back to having nothing wasn’t very equality of the film. If “Barbieland” was supposed to be the reverse of the real world with gender power what’s the message trying to say here?
Keep in mind none of the comments that disagree have had a chance to see the movie yet. So not much substance there.
I went with my leftist friends, who thought it was even miserably preachy
Being critical of the gender imbalance in the real world is not “hating men.” Sure Barbieland is a gynarchy but that’s because it is a girl empowered fantasy land. When little girls play with Barbie dolls do you think they play with the men in charge of everything? Ken is devoid of inner life because, again, he is an accessory toy to a girl’s fantasy. It makes sense with the world building. When he enters the real world he becomes like Jack Skeleton in Nightmare Before Christmas and decides to try to incorporate what he learned from the real world into Barbieland with equally disastrous results that have to be remedied. Afterwards the Barbies realize that maybe they didn’t appreciate the Ken’s enough and decide to give them some more responsibilities that mirrors how women had to slowly fight their way into positions of power within the real world patriarchy. It is completely accurate and helps men see the world through a woman’s eyes.
Also I only recall Barbie being referred to as a fascist once by a real world character who is disillusioned with the barbie fantasy of female empowerment. I did not get the sense like you did that the director/writer agreed with that sentiment since that character ends up losing her cynicism about Barbie and becomes an ally in helping her reclaim Barbieland.
As a guy, I actually see what you are saying. Those who quickly dismiss this as missandry actually didn’t understand the undertones of it all. Barbie did acknowledge being in the world where the girls are in control also makes mistake and realises she did take Ken for granted, so it’s not to say she didn’t possess a moment of weakness. It’s also a reflection of actual treating one another with respect.
So kens are a majority of college students and are 4 of the 9 Supreme Court
This is exactly what I didn’t want to see when I paid it to see a fun girly exciting, entertaining movie. If I wanted to see what you just wrote, I would go take a class. What’s wrong with wanting to see a movie that’s going to entertain you?
Your fragility is showing, reinforced by your inability to go without responding to every comment that contracts your opinion.
“Durrr, you’re triggered and fragile” are really lame retorts though. Calling them out as such is quite appropriate.
Contracts? Did you mean contradicts?
Man, the man is triggered by a Barbie movie, wow.
Incel alert! Anyone who uses “woke” in the pejorative should find a deserted island and stay there. Forever.
Is that why Little Mermaid and Indiana Jones 5 failed miserably?
Anyone who is triggered by the word “woke” being used as an appropriate pejorative is obviously so very angry that they can’t control the narrative. Seethe harder.
Fascists such as yourself really hate it when they can’t control language. Sorry, but “mostly peaceful riots” is a phrase that is completely inane, and “woke” is a term that has earned its status as a definite pejorative among most normies out there.
SJW alert~Anyone who calls people incels is POS
Feminism 101:
>Claim culture places too focus on men having sex as a form of status
>Ridicule men who can’t get laid, thus contributing to the stigma you allegedly oppose.
>Ignore all irony
>Project hatred onto target political opponent.
Woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke. You don’t even know what incel means.