Robert De Niro may be 82, but he’s still an A-lister you want in your movie.
Just make sure you hire him only once per film.
De Niro’s “The Alto Knights,” a misbegotten gangster film that bellyflopped in theaters, is this year’s worst cinematic clunker. And the competition was stiff.
What’s sad about this year’s crop of God awful movies? Some boast original stories brimming with fresh ideas and creative flights of fancy.
Said flights, alas, never got off the ground.
“The Alto Knights” director Barry Levinson continues his ice-cold streak with this gangster bust. De Niro plays both Vito Genovese and Frank Costello, initially reminding us of classic films like “Goodfellas” and “Casino.”
Not for long.
The double casting move is a constant distraction, but you’ll still notice the tin-eared dialogue, meandering story and lack of stakes from start to finish.
Suddenly, “The War on Grandpa” doesn’t seem so bad…
Director Bong Joon Ho injects his progressive politics into his work. Think “Snowpiercer,” “The Host” and the Oscar-winning “Parasite.”
The results can be mixed, but few would argue that “Parasite” wasn’t a fascinating cultural puzzle. “The Host” delivered horror movie thrills with a message, and the class inequality lurking throughout “Snowpiercer” came with a compulsive storyline.
You can agree or disagree with the director’s worldview, but one thing was clear. To quote “Gladiator,” “are you not entertained?”
“Mickey 17” wasn’t entertaining. It was an endurance test up to the muddy finale. Robert Pattinson tries oh, so hard to bring life to a sci-fi yarn about a Trumpian figure (Mark Ruffalo) cloning the same person over and again for nefarious reasons.
That’s Pattinson as the man who keeps coming back for more. What sounds engaging on paper is disastrous on screen, a heavy-handed parable that’s clunky and excessive …
Nicole Kidman has never been busier, and that doesn’t include her AMC Theater ads. The Oscar winner works so much that many people didn’t realize her 2025 film “Holland” went straight to Prime Video.
Huh? Why would a Kidman project do that? Shouldn’t it be in theaters? Once you click “play” on your TV remote, you learn why.
Kidman plays a midwestern mom who suspects her husband is having an affair. She begins to sniff around for clues, a mission that leads her to an unlikely bond with a colleague (Gael García Bernal). The mystery surrounding her husband is just one element that’s disturbing in this slow-footed thriller…
The sports world is ripe for a “Naked Gun”-style parody. Instead, we got a horror movie spun from our all-star infatuation. Not a bad Plan B … until you sit down to watch “Him.”
Producer Jordan Peele put his shrinking gravitas behind the tale of a can’t-miss prospect (Tyriq Withers) under the tutelage of an aging superstar (Marlon Wayans).
The first act is intriguing, if imperfect. We’re set up for a thrill ride with something to say about elevating athletes in unnatural ways. Instead, the story gets sillier and “Him’s” considerable potential heads to the blue medical tent, never to return…
Video game movies are all the rage after decades of misfires. Sorry, if you adore films like 1993’s “Super Mario Bros.” it’s due to nostalgia, not cinematic excellence. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but we should be honest about it, no?
That means Hollywood turned to the “Five Nights at Freddy’s” sensation for a new horror franchise. It makes sense, and those creepy ‘bots seem perfect for big-screen scares.
Except “FNAF” was a downer, a mediocre shocker that pleased the game’s hardcore fan base above others. “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” makes the first film look good by comparison.
Very good. And “FNAF” was nothing of the kind.
The new film lacks scares, purpose and reason. It’s filled with Easter Eggs, the kind meant to distract us from realizing the film itself is a s*** sandwich…
Which brings us to “Spinal Tap II: The End Continues.” The film’s legendary director, Rob Reiner, was brutally murdered mere days ago, allegedly by his own son. So we’ll spare any details about his sequel beyond including it on this list and saying the screen legend deserved a better farewell project.
Rest in peace, Mr. Reiner.
NOTE: This critic didn’t screen several films currently gracing other “Worst of the Year” lists, including “Playtime,” “The War of the Worlds” and “Bride Hard.”
roofman was not very good either.