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What Your ‘Orphan Black’ Crush Says About You

Star Tatiana Maslany is always entertaining, and “Orphan Black” was just renewed for its fifth and final season.

ORPHAN BLACK in 4 minutes

***Minor Spoilers Ahead***

Without giving too much away, “Orphan Black’”follows Sarah Manning (Maslany) and her quest to uncover her past as a human experiment in genetics.

There has been an ongoing race to improve humanity via genetic manipulation. Two camps have emerged on how best to do that: gene therapy involving robots and cloning.

Sarah is part of the Project Leda clone line (all women). The Project Castor line exists for military use.

However, both clone lines face terminal illness and are racing to find a cure. Sarah Manning and her “sisters” are learning to work together to find the cure and uncover the secret group behind the experiments.

“Orphan Black” takes itself less seriously than BBC’s other sci-fi drama, “Humans.” Maslany and co. still pose interesting science fiction questions like, “Are we okay with human cloning and genetic manipulation and therapy in newborns?”

Tatiana Maslany on Playing Multiple Characters in Orphan Black

I’ve come to realize out of all the show’s clones, I’m most attracted to Helena. That made me wonder how other viewers connect with the crush of clones.

To put it bluntly, what does your Orphan Black crush say about you?

Your Orphan Black crush is…

Sarah Manning — Loyal, tough, smart, a leader who can be dangerous and unpredictable.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is for others to be in charge. You’re not afraid of a powerful woman, and you’re secure and independent enough to not need constant companionship.

Cosima Neihaus — Sweet, wicked smart, funny, tender and sensitive.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is to be in charge. You like protecting your lover, you reward loyalty and are okay with not being the smartest person in the room.

Alison Hendrix — Driven, artistic, good at partnering with others and can sometimes lose sight of her own needs when helping others. Is willing to do anything to get the job done.

What Your Crush Says About You Your preference is for the “naughty librarian” type that on the surface presents as “normal” but is a hellcat underneath. She’s loyal, but piss her off and she will cut you.

Helena — Wild, animalistic, loyal, dependable, MacGyver like in her ability to solve problems. Trained operative and combat ready.

What Your Crush Says About You  Your preference is for survival types who know how to get stuff done. You’re not into appearances and “all dolled up” doesn’t mean much to you. When it comes to getting busy, you’re all about primal tendencies.

Rachel Duncan — Cool, cold, collected. She’s one step ahead of everyone else. She’s ruthless towards a goal and doesn’t let anything or anyone get in he way. She’s a terminator.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is to be toyed with, both emotionally and physically, and you secretly long for someone to take control. You’re not as nice as you pretend to be and relish her lack of morality. She treats others as you wish you could treat others.

Krystal Goderitch — Quirky, stylish, a bit vain but not afraid to show off her assets.

What Your Crush Says About You — The “package” is everything to you. Looks are important, never mind the lack of stimulating conversation.

Veera “M.K. Suominen — Secretive, hidden, skeptical and razor sharp.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is to work hard in relationships and prove that you can be trusted. The more they pull away, the harder you pursue.

Felix “Fee Dawkins — Funny, artistic, loyal, daring, comfortable in his own skin, low inhibitions and high tolerance for risk.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is for someone wild and exciting, even a bit dangerous. They’re also emotionally unavailable for a relationship.

Donnie Hendrix — Dependable, good father, willing to take orders, loyal, and tougher than that soft belly makes out without actually being dangerous.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is to be in charge. You want dependability and loyalty but not a push over. You want someone willing to indulge your wild side, but completely willing to just visit there when you say it’s okay.

Siobhan Sadler — Smoldering, smoky, dangerous, with a shadowy past and an artistic side. Can drink bourbon with the best of them and then turn around a gut a man.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is for dangerous women with questionable pasts who can break down a rifle. She’s political, but that was in the past. Now, when she lets down her guard and sings for you… you’re in love.

Arthur “Art Bell — Good cop, follows intent of the law versus the letter of the law, is willing to go the extra mile, patient beyond all reason.

What Your Crush Says About You — Your preference is for someone to stand by your side through thick and thin.

Paul Dierden  — The proverbial bad boy, who’s ex military, has questionable ethics along with questionable life goals.

What Your Crush Says About You — You don’t mind taking risk in your relationships and fun outweighs stability.

Delphine Cormier — Intelligent, strategic, undependable, sexy, flirty and sensual.

What Your Crush Says About You You’re a hopeless romantic who believes everyone deserves a second, third and even fourth chance.

Castor Clones — Varying degrees of psychotic behavior, unpredictable, dangerous, unethical and mean.

What Your Crush Says About You  — If you’re attracted to any of the Castor clones, clearly you had a rough childhood and haven’t done any of the work. You’re a slacker. Take a baby-step towards sanity.


  1. 5 Seasons? What? I thought they were going to have 7 maybe 8.
    Anyway, Tatiana if you get dumped (not that I want you to but if it happens) and want to go horseback riding along the Brazos river let me know.

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