B-movies can survive almost anything.
- Shoddy scripts
- Mediocre budgets
- Indifferent acting
The genre’s kryptonite? Pretension.
The latter drags down “Onslaught,” a hyper-violent thriller laced with conspiratorial urges. Director Adam Wingard (“You’re Next”) wants his genre effort to mean something, to say something.
He trots out every style trick in the book to make that happen. Nothing doing. It does deliver the gore and violence, plus a Final Girl type who means business.
Whenever the movie tries to Say Something Important, the fun spirals down the drain.
Adria Arjona plays Celeste, a former military sniper suffering from PTSD and a nasty attitude about, well, everything. She’s bummed that she’ll have to take care of her daughter when her ex drops by unannounced, taking her away from precious target shooting time.
She’s cold with everyone save Reginald VelJohnson as Josiah, her avuncular neighbor in their trailer park community. (Yeah, the “Die Hard” vet steals the movie).
Little do they know a science experiment gone awry is about to pay them a visit.
A trio of genetically altered super-soldiers breaks free from a nearby facility, and they’re designed to kill everything in sight.
Can a feisty former soldier summon her maternal instincts and protect her park from their invasion?
Tight setup, no? Except we get snippets of the larger picture which add little to the fun. The fiend responsible for the genetic super-soldiers (an unrecognizable Dan Stevens) studied at the Dr. Josef Mengele School of Science.
His galpal (Rebecca Hall, wasted) dominates him on the home front. Literally.
Meanwhile, a team led by the cold-blooded Cyrus (Drew Starkey) tries to corral the experimental soldiers once they go rogue.
The supporting players and subplots aren’t around long enough to matter, and the thinly-realized portraits suggest Wingard craves a franchise more than a compelling first chapter.
That leaves us with a generic murdering spree, some forgettable “kills” and a heroine who makes it hard to root for her.
Celeste is a nasty piece of work, an anti-Mary Sue who’s so busy being tough she often forgets she’s human. Her war flashbacks are both corny and unnecessary, and her PTSD tremor feels ripped from a dozen other films.
Maybe two dozen.
“Onslaught” delivers action but few thrills, an odd combination that defangs the film’s potential. It’s all assembled with a keen eye for detail and tasty compositions, to Wingard’s credit.
Few B-movies are so lovingly assembled.
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The villainous trio keeps gathering in a straight line so Wingard can capture them in their murderous glory, the night fog washing over them for maximum impact.
Cool! Now, what?
The film opens with a wild collage of news clips of both former U.S. presidents and Nazi-esque imagery. What’s Wingard and co-screenwriter Simon Barrett trying to say? Are they flinging cinematic poo at the wall, hoping something sticks?
We’re spared the image of incessant U.S. flags flying in the backdrop, but the film’s conspiratorial glee feels even more maddening given the current state of the world (and punditry).
We get enough of that in real life, thanks.
Wingard is clearly aping ’80s B-movies, from the visual palette to the synth soundtrack that John Carpenter would cheer. No problem there. Retro thrillers can be a hoot, and “Onslaught” does have its moments.
And, if you caught the film on a streaming service, blissfully unaware of Wingard’s resume or the talent involved, you might be pleasantly distracted.
Seeing it in a theater is a less satisfying experience.
HiT or Miss: 2 out of 5 stars
Genre: Horror/Sci-Fi/Thriller
Runtime: 1h 32 minutes
Where to Watch: Theaters (Sept. 4)
Family Friendly? No. Adult language, graphic violence, bloodshed and gore