Can You Imagine THESE Celebrities Starring in ‘Airplane?’

Surely you can’t be serious.

Two key artists behind 1980’s “Airplane!” landed in Denver Sunday to crack wise about one of Hollywood’s best comedies.

Ever.

The spoof, from the minds of David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker, is as funny today as it was 45 years ago. Maybe even funnier, considering the dearth of big-screen comedies in the 21st century.

Zucker and star Robert Hays (AKA Ted Striker) shared their memories of the film at a celebratory screening at Denver’s Paramount Theater. The cheeky conversation revealed Zucker’s comic mind remains as sharp as ever, and Hays proved to be an artful storyteller in his own right.

The night’s biggest tales involved the film’s key casting decisions. Hays nailed the anguished ex-pilot, playing the character straight as the story’s silliness engulfed him. Julie Hagerty, a dainty presence with perfect comic timing, shone as Ted’s former flame.

It’s impossible to imagine other stars playing the roles any better. Still, Hagerty had some stiff competition for the part.

Both Shelley Long and Sigourney Weaver circled Elaine, the stewardess tasked with saving the passengers after the flight crew fell ill. Weaver appeared in ’40s era stewardess attire for her audition, Zucker said, but once the creative team met Hagerty they knew they had found their Elaine.

Casting Ted Striker proved more complicated and almost as silly as anything eventually seen on screen.

Zucker said the studio initially wanted a traditional comedian to play Ted, a Bill Murray or Chevy Chase type. Zucker refused, preferring to cast non-comics who would approach the part without a wink to the audience.

The best example?

Leslie Nielsen found a second career as a straight man anchoring Zucker comedies, most notably in the “Naked Gun” trilogy.

That left for some curious choices before Hays cemented the part. Think:

• Barry Manilow
• David Letterman
• Bruce Jenner

Zucker said Letterman was relieved to miss out on the role, knowing film acting wasn’t his strength or professional dream. As for Jenner, Hollywood was happy to cast athletes in film and TV shows at the time, thus the curious choice.

The director honored that sentiment in a different fashion. He hired L.A. Lakers great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to play one of the pilots, a move made even funnier when the athlete broke character mid-movie.

Other fun tidbits from the uncensored chat?

• Zucker’s mother, actress Charlotte Zucker, played the woman attempting to apply makeup while the airplane bounced madly in the air.
• Hays spoke to John Travolta about the project but never got a chance to share information about its iconic disco dance scene. Travolta was in production on “Urban Cowboy” at the time.
• Zucker and his colleagues loosely based the film on “Zero Hour,” a cheesy 1957 drama starring Dana Andrews as Squadron Leader Ted Stryker. Sound familiar?
• Peter Graves initially bristled at his role, a pilot with a peculiar interest in gladiator movies. He threw the script across the room, to hear Zucker tell it. The actor would later embrace the silliness, even teasing Hays’ parents about his character’s predilections at the film’s premiere.