Can We Stop It with ‘First Reaction’ Stories?

Name the superhero movie:

“It’s funny, silly, short and sweet, action-packed … Plenty of MCU interconnectivity without being overbearing.”

[‘XXX’] is an astonishingly wacky film. I had a lot of fun. [xxxx xxxx] was born to be an MCU star. She elevates a tangled story into a Marvel nerd’s dream. Sometimes that dream wavers out of sync. But it sticks the landing.

“It’s hilarious, action-packed … There was a great balance of the team, while dropping shocking bombs that will change EVERYTHING.”

“… Much more episodic than a cinematic endeavor, but I think that’s its greatest strength … great post-credits … great visual effects.”

Not sure? What about this movie?

It’s one of DC’s best, and fits nicely as a bridge story between the old and new DCEU franchises. It’s also the funniest DC movie.

It’s a real love letter to DC!

[‘xxxx’] is hands down one of the best superhero films of all time. No joke.

… it’s a major standout for DC

…not the best superhero movie ever made, so let’s get that out of the way, but it’s an impressive DC movie with lots of emotion and loads of surprises.

Give up?

The first movie is “The Marvels,” perhaps the biggest disappointment of all recent superhero films. The latter? “The Flash,” the project that crushed star Ezra Miller’s career and helped bring the DCEU to a screeching halt.

The comments come from “first reaction” stories that leak whenever a geek-friendly film nears its release date. These aren’t official reviews, per se. They’re hot takes allowed to slip past the studios’ embargo rules.

And, hopefully, go viral before the film’s release. Hmmm.

And they’re almost always glowing. Fawning. Sycophantic. Untrustworthy, at least if you’re eager to hear sober takes on the latest films.

Now, a few superhero duds couldn’t even rally positive “first reaction” stories. Take “Madame Web,” the 2024 dud that became a punchline in record time.

This was the best the film could muster:

#MadameWeb exceeds expectations! Some of the dialog is cheesy AF, some heavy-handed product placement, and probably couldve been tidied up a bit more. But the cast really work magic with what they had, their chemistry is a lot of fun, and the suits look great

“Madame Web” earned a sad $43 million at the U.S. box office.

Right on cue, we have “First Reaction” stories tied to “The Fantastic Four: First Steps.” The reboot of a reboot of Marvel’s first family opens July 25, and once again the “critics” are breaking out the Thesaurus to rave about the film.

“Galactus is awesome. Silver Surfer looks really, really good. VFX were often immaculate…Cosmically and on Earth, [director] Matt Shakman dropped a visual feast.”

“Breathtaking … Stunning visuals, a moving story, witty banter and epic action. Marvel’s First Family delivers one awesome ride … Pedro Pascal nails it as Mr. Fantastic. Vanessa Kirby stands out as Sue Storm – she’s a shooting star.”

Yawn. Sorry, but yawn.

Perhaps the only service these stories provide is simple. If a superhero/geek-friendly film can’t get “First Reaction” raves, it must be a clunker. Another tip? Read the raves carefully. If they focus on FX or other secondary film elements, it might mean they’re trying to avoid the bad news.

The movie is a bore.

Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, of course, but giving these reactions the same weight as either the critical community, the Rotten Tomatoes general audience score or box office receipts is disengenuous at the very best.