‘Jackpot’ Could Be the Worst Comedy of the Decade

Imagine “The Purge” as a Bidenomics satire!

We’ll get comedy maestro Paul Feig of “Bridesmaids” fame to direct and lasso Awkwafina and John Cena to headline. 

What could go wrong? Try absolutely everything.

“Jackpot” is so bad that, by the halfway mark, your senses have been bludgeoned into a stupor. The rest is neither good, bad nor indifferent. It just exists and you wait patiently for the sweet release of the end credits.

And then you’re met with a crush of unfunny bloopers. The pain … it never ends.

Awkwafina stars as Katie Kim, a former child star who returns to Los Angeles circa 2030 to revive her acting career. She literally hits the jackpot when she wins California’s “Purge”-like lottery. Yes, she’ll be a billionaire soon enough, but only if she lives long enough to grab the payout.

You see, this lottery allows anyone to kill the winner before sundown and get the money.

There’s more inane rules. You can’t shoot the lottery winner, but knives and other deadly implements are fair game. And you can hire people to protect you during that vulnerable, post-announcement window.

That’s where John Cena’s Noel comes in.

He’s happy to keep Katie safe for a percentage of her winnings. He appears to be the only person in all of California who has her best interests at heart. (And she can’t stop trashing him…) Everyone else is lunging for the nearest weapon to off Katie.

Hilarious, right? It’s even worse than it sounds.

You can’t win if you don’t play. Starring Awkwafina, John Cena and directed by Paul Feig, Jackpot! arrives August 15. 🎬 https://t.co/HeW9EjdOKi pic.twitter.com/JECLP2NCFJ

— moviefone (@moviefone) August 12, 2024

First, we’re pummeled with third-rate “John Wick” action where dozens upon dozens try and fail to kill Katie in the first 20 minutes.

House wives. Yoga devotees. Karate masters. Everyone. All armed to the teeth.

Remember, this is Awkwafina not the second coming of Rambo.

She’s a petite actress (5’1″ according to Wikipedia) playing a character with no fighting ability. Yet she goes toe to toe with trained warriors double her weight.

Noel’s fighting chops offer some logical balance in Katie’s quest for the money, and he IS John Cena. It’s still so absurd on its face – and not in any way that resembles humor.

And that’s more or less the movie. Yes, “Shang Chi” alum Simu Liu appears as a competing bodyguard happy to take over for Noel. It’s a smorgasbord of man’s inhumanity to man with eye-roll one-liners peppering the screenplay.

The film’s satirical potential is mostly ignored. 

Is this a slam on California? Technically, yes, but there’s nothing in the screenplay to build on that premise. Could it be an attack on capitalism? Probably, but once again the story lacks any kind of teeth.

It’s just ugly from start to finish. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Running gags fail the first time but keep showing up as if to mock the audience. Katie’s irrational rage against Noel, the only soul who treats her with kindness, makes us pine for her swift demise.

She’s the most grating heroine in recent memory, played by an actress with Hollywood’s most grating voice.

Everyone is trying very hard with zero results. Even Cena, so hilarious in “Ricky Stanicky,” can’t do much with his character.

Machine Gun Kelly appears mid-movie as himself, proving that “Jackpot” can actually, somehow get worse.

HiT or Miss: “Jackpot” fails on so many levels you may need to watch it twice to catch it all. But for the love of all that’s holy … don’t.